Many men (well, maybe most) have some sort
of weakness which, should a temptation approach them that appeals to their
innate psychological Achilles tendon, causes them to turn into weak-kneed bowls
of jelly totally unable to offer any resistance. To some it may be the evil vices of booze, or
smoking, or gambling…maybe even the irresistible attraction of the opposite
gender. But for me and a generation of
kids who grew up in my era of youth, namely the fifties and sixties, it was the
magnetic attraction of the American automobile.
It’s possible that I inherited my addiction from my dad who loved cars
and was a “Mercury man” for nearly thirty years, but whatever the source, by
the time I turned twelve I knew the engine size, horsepower, weight, length,
width, height, and color choices for every automobile manufactured for the
current year by the Big Three (Ford Motor Company, General Motors, and Chrysler
Corporation.) Back in those days, most
new model cars were introduced to the public around the first of every
October. Shiny new models were well kept
secrets, delivered to dealers while under heavy canvas hidden from prying eyes
until the Holy Day of Revelation. On the
Blessed Day there would be hundreds of people at the showrooms to see the
latest offerings from the manufacturers.
I have seen police at local dealerships directing traffic because of the
demand to see the new models of various cars.
Most dads took their sons to football games; my dad took me to every new
car showing in Baytown Commerce
Street
The 1950s were the golden age of the
American automobile. Unrestricted by oil
limitations, gas prices, EPA mileage requirements, or federal guidelines, and
blessed with highly imaginative stylists with carte blanche to design
the dream car for the masses, the American automotive industry created some of
the most distinctive, outlandish, and memorable automobiles in the history of
transportation. Each major brand of
automobile boasted a distinctive profile (’59 Cadillac fins!) that made each
model recognizable from any reasonable distance and generated an owner loyalty
to the marques which is distinctly absent in today’s market. Automobile manufacturers of today, encumbered
by EPA mileage requirements, high energy prices, safety regulations,
international competition, and globalization of the markets are forced to
create generic cars, predictable in design, uninspiring in appeal, and indistinguishable
from competitive brands. Ninety percent
of automobiles on the road today would be unidentifiable if viewed from a
shadow profile.
Please note that up until this point I
haven’t mentioned quality of product.
Whereas the fifties set of wheels glittered with miles of shiny chrome,
glass, and rainbows of colors, the standard warranty was 90 days or 3,000
miles, and extended warranties were unheard of.
When an automobile hit 70,000-80,000 miles, it was usually time for a
major engine overhaul, and brakes and tires were worn out in well under 40,000
miles. The American auto industry had
not yet discovered the value of building a quality product; their specialty was
building a car which would blind you with its styling and make you not even care
about the expensive upkeep. Today’s
cars, however bland and styling-deficient they may be, far outshine their
ancestors in durability and safety.
Unfortunately for today’s manufacturers, the first reaction to
practically anything comes from a visual impression, and the cars of today just
don’t get the blood churning like their predecessors. Even the so-called SUVs so prevalent today
have degenerated into an indistinguishable pile of mediocrity with each
manufacturer unashamedly copying their perceived competitors’ products. The creative, bar-raising, boundary-busting
automotive model is nowhere in sight. I had
high hopes for the Tesla, the all-electric luxury vehicle created by an
individual (wealthy) genius unrestricted by the closed culture of the
automotive giants, but the Tesla’s styling is, at best, mundane and unexciting.
However I may moan and groan about the
state of the modern automobile, it hasn’t stopped me from buying them. Since I drove my first 1954 Mercury off the
lot in 1959, I have been privileged to own 140 different vehicles…a total of 33
different brands, foreign and domestic.
Granted, I have slowed down recently to about a car or two per year, but
back in the earlier days, I apparently was seeking the Holy Grail of
automobiledom and therefore had a tendency to look longingly at a different
models on a somewhat regular basis.
I have always liked two-seater sports cars,
preferably with convertible tops. I’ve
never been much of a truck person. I recently
read that of all the trucks sold in the United States today, over 60% of them
are never used as trucks for hauling. Truck manufacturers have done a masterful
job of relating truck ownership to manhood, so “drivin’ mah one-ton dooley”
satisfies the macho male ego more than anything else. I realize that some trucks are used for work,
but otherwise, why someone would drive a bulbous, wallowing, thirsty, bouncy,
non-stylish vehicle around is beyond me.
I was hooked on sports cars after I bought my first one…a 1961 Alfa
Romeo Spider Veloce. It was a red,
high-revving Italian job with double overhead cams and Weber carbs back when
most American iron was just discovering overhead valves. It could turn on a dime and give you a nickel
change. I taped a microphone back near
the rear wheel, turned on the recorder, and went screaming around corners while
going up through the gears and listening to the tires screech. Afterward, I played that tape over and over
at home. Cheap thrills. In later times came eight MGs, a couple of Triumphs,
and even a Fiat X/19 (the only car I would not drive anywhere without my toolbox.) I traded the Fiat for a Lincoln Town
One of the coolest cars I ever owned was a
1981 Gazelle, a 1929 Mercedes SSK fiberglass kit car built on a Ford
chassis. I didn’t build it…it was
professionally built and beautiful. Used
to have girls follow me in their cars wanting to go for a ride. Since I wasn’t in the mood for any marital
stress, I eventually sold the Gazelle.
One of the quickest cars I ever owned was a 1968 American Motors AMX, a
two-seat sports car built by AMC
for a few years. Small, light, with a
390 V8 and four-speed, it would scream through the gears. It wasn’t much on stopping though…this was
before disc brakes came along. One of
the prettiest cars I ever bought was a new 1979 Chevy Monte Carlo…one of the
first models with glass T-tops. It was a
beautiful car, but in summer the glass roof let in way too much heat, and you
baked even with the AC on full blast.
Looked good with the glass roof off, though. 
I got interested in Saabs for a few years
and owned four. Saabs were built by
weird Swedish engineers and were a little quirky. The ignition key was in the
middle of the console between the front seats.
But a Saab drove and handled like a sports car, and it was one of the
first manufacturers to offer turbocharged engines. They were very quick for the time. However, they were a little problem prone. Son Bobby drove one from Wyoming University of Houston Houston Wyoming Houston Wyoming Houston 
I’ve owned some cars that I thought were ahead of their times…a 1968 Renault 10 and a 1980 Nissan 310GX. Small but comfortable, both cars consistently obtained 40-45 mpg…but nobody cared because gas was $0.30 per gallon. Then I’ve also owned vehicles that were at the end of their lifetimes, namely six Jeep Wagoneers. Not the baby ones you see today, but the large, Suburban-style, full-time four-wheel drive behemoths that were the workhorses of Wyoming. It was impossible to stick one in the snow. They went everywhere.
When the Chrysler PT Cruiser was
introduced, it was such a throwback design and innovative, I had to have one,
and it was a very enjoyable and economical driver for a couple of years…but it
wasn’t a
convertible, so in time I was driving a ’97 Ford Mustang GT
convertible. Nice, comfortable car. One
car, however, I had never owned had always interested me. Therefore, having entered my declining years
of senility and common sense, I had an opportunity to trade my 97 Mustang GT
convertible for a car I had always admired from a distance. It wasn’t new by any stretch…a 1996 Chevrolet
Corvette. In auto sales parlance it
would have been described as “honest.”
Very clean, very original, no body work, good leather, 89,000 miles,
removable roof panel, and ran like nothing I’d had since the AMX. I looked for reasons to take it for a drive.
At about this same time, Shirley and I were driving as our family car a 2011 Kia Sorento, our second foray into the SUV market, having traded in a 2003 Buick Rendezvous. Both cars were roomy, comfortable, and very utilitarian…and as exciting as a shovel. Unfortunately, after owning the 'Vette for a couple of years, I had to let it go because of a hip replacement. 'Vettes are not that easy to enter, anyway, and with a bum hip it became untenable to own. I traded it for a new Kia Soul. You know you have reached old age when you trade a Corvette for a Kia Soul, but the Soul was an
amazing little car.... roomy, comfortable, efficient, and dependable as
a Maytag appliance. It was the perfect suburban car, although about as
exciting as that Maytag appliance I mentioned. I drove it for a couple of
years and sold it. Tired of car payments. 
marvel of German design, it had the same 200 hp turbocharged 2.0-liter
engine that was in the VW Golf GTI, and as a result, it was very quick.
For an old guy like me, I had the security of a sedan with the top up, but when
I felt adventurous on those mild spring and fall days we have in Houston, in 50
seconds I could have a fun wind-in-your-face sports car to drive and
enjoy. It was the best of both worlds.
may have
been right, because I drove the Vette for a year and traded it for a 2015 VW
CC, which is a VW Passat which has been upgraded on the exterior, in the
interior, and with the roof shaved down about two inches for a more streamline
look. It has the same 200 hp
turbocharged 2.0 engine as the EOS, so it runs very well. Being twenty-two
years newer than the Vette, it is much more contemporary in its furnishing with
GPS, power assists, MP3 music, Sirius radio, etc. 
Recently, Shirley and I said goodby to our faithful 2011 Kia Sorento and traded for a 2021 Buick Encore GX Select, a smaller SUV packed with enough electronics to pilot a spaceship. It will warn you, advise you, guide you, listen to you...all the while keeping you in comfort. 
On some future day I’m sure that I will hang up my keys and
reserve the Senior Citizen bus for my travels. But until then, I’ll still be collecting auto brochures and reading car magazines. And who knows? Maybe another Corvette.
At about this same time, Shirley and I were driving as our family car a 2011 Kia Sorento, our second foray into the SUV market, having traded in a 2003 Buick Rendezvous. Both cars were roomy, comfortable, and very utilitarian…and as exciting as a shovel. Unfortunately, after owning the 'Vette for a couple of years, I had to let it go because of a hip replacement. 'Vettes are not that easy to enter, anyway, and with a bum hip it became untenable to own. I traded it for a new Kia Soul. You know you have reached old age when you trade a Corvette for a Kia Soul, but the Soul was an
I then bought a car I would describe as
"interesting." The Volkswagen EOS was manufactured in Portugal and
imported into the United States by VW from 2008-2017. It was basically
a VW Jetta with a retractable hardtop. Beyond the retractable roof, which
was a
But it wasn't a Corvette. Just
something about 'Vettes. I traded the EOS for a 1993 C4 Corvette.
87,000 miles and very clean. My good friend and neighbor summed up the
purchase succinctly, "Well, Bob, you just proved you're never too old to
do something foolish!" He
On some future day I’m sure that I will hang up my keys and
reserve the Senior Citizen bus for my travels. But until then, I’ll still be collecting auto brochures and reading car magazines. And who knows? Maybe another Corvette.
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