I have never
been a great fan of the Disney amusement parks. DisneyLand in California
and DisneyWorld in Florida seemed to me to be meccas for children and restless
parents, but as a destination for grown adults, the idea of taking a ride in a
teacup with TinkerBell flitting about did not appeal to me at all. Not to
mention, Disney has received a lot of press in recent years as to its social inclusiveness
and open acceptance of various alternative lifestyles which to me smacked too
much of political correctness. In short, Disney was a place for
kids. Throughout the years of our children growing up, we lived the
majority of the time in Wyoming, many miles away from the Disney havens and not
quite under the influence of Disney’s powerful advertising arm which has gained
considerable reach in the last couple of decades.
Several years
ago, however, my children, Bobby and Kimberly, as they reached adulthood and
began to explore on their own, fell, as many unsuspecting souls have, under the
influence of Disney. Bobby, wife Shanna, and grandkids have now made
pilgrimages to DisneyWorld regularly scheduled events to the point of owning property
with Disney Vacation Club. Our grandson, Ryan, having escaped the bonds
of college and graduated, is now a “cast member” with DisneyWorld, Orlando,
having moved there in September and now plays the part of a seasoned veteran of
the Disney machine. Granddaughter Brooke is probably not too far
behind. Currently a student at the University of North Carolina School of
Arts, she is studying all things artsy with a major in prop design and
creation...with an eye toward using her new-found skills and talents in
entertainment productions with Disney in a couple of years. Naturally,
with two kids now generally living on the east coast of the United States,
Bobby and Shanna have kept the airlines busy scheduling trips to check on their
kids. And once Brooke makes The Big Leap from student at UNCSA to
production designer at Disney...can Mom and Dad migrating to Orlando be far
behind? I fear not.
Our daughter
Kimberly has not been immune to this Disney fever, either, and, though she is
fairly grounded in her work with Memorial Hermann Hospital System in Houston, has also been captured by the spirit of Disney and has made several trips with
Bobby and family to DisneyWorld in Orlando and (with some of the Wyoming Creel
clan) to DisneyLand in Los Angeles. Apparently Disney mania is a contagious
disease.
Which brings me to a
more (to me) affecting reality. My lovely children have managed to sweep
even my beloved wife into the smothering influence of Disney, and now she, too, has made several trips with the kids to Disney. I have resisted an incredible
amount of family pressure to accompany everyone to their favorite Disney
destination primarily because I just didn’t feel it would appeal to me.
Forgive me for admitting this, but I don’t spend money for something I don’t think
I’ll enjoy unless it’s required by law or financial obligation. Show me a
cool car and give me a good price, and I’ll crumble like a stack of cards, but
a trip to Disney? No thanks.
Until now.
I guess because I’m getting up there in years and therefore putting an
(even) greater value on family relationships and times spent together, when the
moment came around this year for the family to schedule a December trip to
Disney, I, in a moment of extreme weakness, agreed to tag along. Once the
looks of shock faded from family members’ faces, all assured me that I would
“enjoy it to the max." I showed some
enthusiasm for the sake of my family, but I was mostly just resigned to the
task rather than excited about it. So preparations began.
The family had
been gearing up for the trip for several months, and one way of preparing for
Disney was giving each other Disney Gift Cards for
birthdays and whatever other day that required some sort of gift.
Strangely enough, I had been receiving gift cards on my birthday, also, even
though I had not yet committed to go. This was apparently due to the
expectation that I would crumble under the pressure to go. It worked.
So, on December 1, in the wee hours of the morning, Shirley, Kim, and I
aimed the car for Houston Intercontinental to catch the 7:30 a.m. flight to
Orlando. We were scheduled to meet Bobby and Shanna in Orlando where they
had arrived a day or so earlier.
One has only to
take one flight in a present-day commercial aircraft to see how much discomfort
a human is willing endure just to get from one place to another in the shortest
possible time. There is a definite similarity to cattle being led through
a pen to slaughter and people being led down a path to board an aircraft.
The de-humanization process begins with the lack of human contact, what with
all ticketing and luggage checking being done by computer. Next comes the
personal invasion via x-ray, the ray gun metal detector and inevitable
pat-down....and only if you pass those checks will you avoid the dreaded strip
search.
I have a metal
hip, so I always ring the bell through the metal detector, but with an
explanation, I usually can skate on through. This time I forgot one
thing. I usually carry a small, cloth money bag around my neck in which I
carry my cash and credit cards. I’ve carried this bag since our first
trip to Hawaii in 1998 with never a problem. This time, however, I placed
my cards in one of those metallic envelopes which allegedly protect your cards
from these electronic scanners that bad guys can use sometimes to get your
personal data. The metallic envelope tripped the sensor and I was set
aside for further examination. The examiner pointed at the tell-tale
envelope on the x-ray screen and asked, “What’s that?” I explained.
He asked to be shown. I showed. I had to unbutton my shirt and
reach inside to get the bag, and I could tell he thought I was reaching for a
45 or something. He asked what was inside the bag. I opened the
bag...nothing but money and cards. He waved me on.
At the same
time, I suddenly realized that I may have lost my wife, since when they check
her bag, they found a knife! The guy held it up like it was a grenade,
and Shirley started muttering, “I didn’t know that was in there.” Anyway,
the weapon was confiscated, she was x-rayed. Apparently deemed harmless,
she was allowed to pass.
We made our way
to the gate to await boarding. We were flying Spirit Airline, which is a
no-frills, bottom dollar, we-promise-to-get-you-there-alive-but hungry
airline. As a result, we didn’t expect much, and we weren’t
disappointed. Modern aircraft have squeezed personal space down to the
bare minimum to haul as many people as possible. Even the seats are
molded plastic with padding about a half inch thick and custom designed to be
as uncomfortable as possible.
However, off
we went into the wild blue yonder right on schedule and a couple of uneventful
hours later after only a couple of leg cramps, we landed in Orlando. The
process began in reverse at that point with disembarking, trekking to baggage
claim to wait for our luggage, and finding our ride. Fortunately, Bobby and
Shanna were there, and we loaded up in their rented Chrysler van and off we
went.
Our condo was
not available until 4:00 p.m., so we made a quick stop at a place called Five
Guys Restaurant...apparently famous for their hamburgers. Their hamburgers
were good, but they are not in the league of Whataburger. Not that I
would know...I ordered a veggie-burger which was crammed with assorted...
vegetables. Pretty tasty. Apparently, they are famous for their
loads of French fries, also, but their delivery and presentation left a lot to
be desired. The big bucket of fries was dumped upside down with the
burgers in a brown paper bag which became soaked with grease from the
fries. I’m not a fan of McDonald’s, but Five Guys needs to check out
McDonald’s fries.
Anyway, it was the
Grand Beach Resort that was to be our new home for the next week or so, and we
were finally able to get moved in about 4:00. Shirley and I also picked
up our electric scooters at the resort where they had been delivered for us to
use for the week. I was a little embarrassed about getting on a scooter
(Ain’t nothing wrong with me!), but after a week’s use, I can tell you it was
the best investment we made on our trip; we could not have done Disney
without them...to walk 7-10 miles per day is not uncommon at Disney.
After unpacking and
settling in, of course, it was straight to our new playland. We wound up at the Polynesian Village where we listened to Hawai’ian music by a guy with a
ukulele and a nice voice; he surprisingly actually sang a couple of songs in
Hawai’ian. It was not long thereafter that the evening fireworks began,
and we all marveled at the colorful explosions and thundering sounds.
Sunday, December 2. My kids
believe in getting the full Disney experience, so it was up early and to the
park by opening bell. Today we wandered around Epcot, which is heavy into
nature preserving and ecology. We toured the aquarium and discovered the
magic of the seas and “Living with the Land,” a display of sophisticated crop
and plant growing methods which conserve water and the land. It was
interesting that tons of plants which are used in food preparation throughout
the park are grown on site through these ecologically sound principles.
“Finding Nemo” was an entertaining human presentation of the famous cartoon
movie, but it was the presentation “Soaring” which was fascinating a well as
amazing. Placed in a hang glider styled seat with a 180-degree screen in
from of us, we were transported to the African savanna and flew over a herd of
elephants, to the Arctic to sail over polar bears, and to Paris, France, to
sail around the Eiffel Tower. It was an incredible visual experience.
Compared to
“Soaring,” “Mission Space” was a visceral, challenging flight on a new shuttle
spacecraft as we experienced a rocket launch with all the accompanying
g-forces, then the near-weightlessness sensation of space travel as we crossed
continents in mere seconds, and then the simulated landing with a
malfunctioning spacecraft which we had to manually “land.” It was most
exciting....and it was the “less stressful ride.” We will take a flight
to Mars later in the week which is promised to be “more stressful.”
Monday, December 3. To the
Animal Kingdom today with an early stop at The Wave, a breakfast buffet with
every breakfast item known to man plus a few extra. Buffets are not for
the diet conscious, but I had already resigned myself to the policy of “eat,
drink, and be merry” for this trip, so I loaded up with all the requirements
for a heavy breakfast. A few minutes later was wishing I had not eaten so
much as we boarded “Expedition Everest,” a wild roller coaster ride allegedly
down the face of Mt. Everest. Supposedly, we experience several g’s of
force as we hurtled around corners. It was a wild, fun ride.
We wobbled away
from the roller coasters to a more sedate tour...a Kilimanjaro Safari adventure
where we were loaded onto safari-styled trucks and driven into the African
hinterland to see all the great large animals in their natural habitat.
Rhinos, giraffes, lions, wildebeests, ostriches, every wild creature was there
practically for the touching. It was quite impressive and much more
realistic than seeing the creatures in a zoo.
Next was
fanciful fantasy as we entered the world of “Pandora-The World of the Avatar”
...the blue dude who had a movie made about him. One neat characteristic
that Avatars have is they can ride on the backs of banshees, a sort of
archaeopteryx, the prehistoric dinosaur which could allegedly fly. Sure
enough, we threw our legs over these banshees and off we went in the air,
making all sorts of dips, dives, loop-de-loops, and swoops, all the while
holding on for dear life. We could even feel the banshees breathing between our
legs as they exhaled and inhaled. Fantastically realistic.
By dark, we
were ready for food, so barbecue was as good as any...although it wasn’t Texas
BBQ. Then we decided to waddle over to Ghirardelli’s for some ice cream
and there the skies opened up just as we were sitting down with our loads of
ice cream. We were under an outside umbrella and table which offered no
protection because it was REALLY raining and blowing. As a result, we
were soaked and decided it was time to head to the barn. Not
to mention the temperature had dropped to the lower fifties, and it was quite
cool. It was a damp, miserable ride home.... but still a good day.
Tuesday, December 4. The Magic Kingdom beckoned today, and
Cinderella’s castle is the dominate sight as one enters the park. As one
approaches Cinderella’s castle, one gets to walk down Main Street, U.S.A.,
which apparently is a re-creation of what Walt Disney envisioned his childhood
home to be. Like all things Disney, it was extremely authentic and a
throwback to the times when men wore straw hats and women long dresses.
Very becoming and nostalgic.
Magic Kingdom has two
roller coaster rides, “Space Mountain” and “Big Thunder.” We rode “Space
Mountain” today and enjoyed every wild, totally-in-the-dark minute of it.
Following, we took Buzz Lightyear’s advice and took a few laser shots at
various alien targets. I am not yet an expert with
a laser. Splash
Mountain is what it sounds like...a wet ride inside a log-styled boat on a
roller coaster styled waterway. We were then mesmerized by “Br’er
Rabbit’s Song of the South”...which we understand now is somewhat politically
incorrect. But then...what isn't?
The evening was spent
at the Yachtsman’s Restaurant in the upscale Yacht Club. Splendid food,
splendid service. If you have to ask what it cost, you probably can’t
afford it (we couldn't, and still went). I can give you a clue: the tip was $90.00. And that was after we had been blessed in that with Ryan being a Disney employee, we got a hefty discount. Anyway, Denny's it was not. Interesting side note here: our waiter was a mature gentleman who in passing conversation stated he had been with Disney for 29 years. He had been chatting with Ryan and learned of Ryan's recent employment with Disney. He said he came to Disney under the same circumstances: fresh out of college with great ambitions but found a home with Disney and never left. It seemed to encourage Ryan and maybe even Mom and Dad. Who knows what the future will hold for our grandson? We also wandered through the Beach Club where we saw a beautiful carousel of fanciful horses...all of which was made up of white and black chocolate and gingerbread.
We still had
time to go by Beaches and Cream, the place where Ryan works. We were able
to meet a fellow employee of Ryan’s named Janet who apparently has taken
Ryan under her motherly wing to the point of inviting him to her family’s
Thanksgiving Day dinner at her home. Apparently, she has a son who is in
school in Texas. She hit it off with Bobby and Shanna and seemed a very
pleasant type person.
Wednesday, December 5. Today it
was the Epcot Center...the shiny, futuristic ball in the middle of the
park. We went into the innards of this contemporary building to
experience “Spaceship Earth,” where we saw the technological evolution of us
human creatures from the Stone Age to our contemporary time. Very
entertaining.
One of the more
entertaining experiences for me was the “Test Track, Presented by Chevrolet.”
You were able to create your own custom vehicle on a computer by designing its
performance, handling, and efficiency characteristics, and then getting into a
car which performed on a track based on the characteristics you designed into
it. The neat part was the performance of your car was compared to the
performance of all the other people’s designed cars as we all raced around the
track. My car won, hands down. On the track my ride literally
accelerated from 0 to 60 mph in 3.5 seconds, and my time around the track was
the quickest. Basically, all I did was design a 2018 Corvette, so it
wasn’t any creative genius on my part.
Having taken
the allegedly intense “Mission Space-Shuttle Flight” on Monday, we opted to
take the more intense simulated “Mission Space-Mars Landing” today. It is
incredible how the sensations of acceleration, weightlessness, and maneuvering
can be duplicated in an electronic setting to the point it was amazingly
realistic. You’ll be glad to know we landed on Mars with no problems,
although we did have the obligatory autopilot failure and were forced to
control the landing manually.
Around Epcot are
areas that are dedicated to ten different countries. Why these particular
countries were chosen, I do not know, but in each area, the country is
recreated in architecture, sounds, and even people. Grandson Ryan told us
that in each of the areas, students from each area home country are exchanged
to the United States for a period of eighteen month to work in the park.
Our trip this afternoon was to France, and standing along the main street, you
would swear you were in Paris, France. The sights, sounds, smells were
decidedly French...to the point of looking up and seeing the Eiffel Tower in
the distance. We ate at the Chefs de France, and the waitstaff was all
decidedly French; the menu was in French, and the food was beautifully French. In “The American Adventure” area we were able
to hear The Voices of Liberty, a ten person ensemble dressed as Dickens
Carolers sing the traditional Christmas carols of the season. They sang a
cappella with beautiful harmony.
One of the most
impressive events took place next...the “Candlelight Processional.” This
was a Christmas Cantata which could have been presented in any Pentecostal
church in America...except our churches now reject anything tradition and
instead choose shallow, contemporary spiritual musicals. Excuse me, I
digressed. A 50-piece orchestra and a
huge choir sang the beautiful and timeless songs of Christmas along with a
narrator who told the Christmas story from the New Testament. It was
beautiful and very moving.
Thursday, December 6. Back to
the Animal Kingdom today to again ride “Expedition Everest,” the wild roller
coaster down the sides of Mt. Everest all the while trying to avoid the
clutches of the dreaded Yeti. A really great ride. Fortunately, the
Kilimanjaro Safari, which we took on Monday, was nearby, and we took that ride
again, also. It is really a quite impressive display of wild animals in
their natural habitats. Next, the “Na’vi River Expedition” was a river
cruise into a bioluminescent rain forest in search of the Na’vi Shaman of
Song. Very mystical and impressive. On a lighter side, “The
Festival of the Lion King” was a musical extravaganza of pageantry and
puppetry. Little kids loved it. We closed out the day at the
Dolphin Hotel in the Don Shula Steakhouse, owned by the famous Miami Dolphin
coach whose NFL team went undefeated in 1972 while winning the Super
Bowl. Naturally, being rebellious, we had seafood extraordinaire. As we sat down at our table, there was a
regulation NFL football on a kicking tee in the middle of the table. I was hoping it was a free sample, but it was
soon whisked away by the waiter.
Friday, December 7. Back to the Magic Kingdom this morning for
coffee and pastries. We decided to do
the Buzz Lightyear laser ride again. I
thought I had figured out the way to aim my laser gun, but apparently, I’m not
cut out to be a space cadet. My
partner, Grandson Ryan, maxed out his score about halfway through the ride
while I was still trying to see where I was aiming. Next was the “Carousel of Progress,” a show of
changing vignettes displaying the progress of technology within the American
home. “Space Mountain” was a repeat of
our Tuesday ride, whereas "Monsters, Inc." was a laugh a minute as the creatures
of Monsters, Inc. interacted with the audience. "Under the Sea—Journey of the
Little Mermaid" was a splashy underwater musical.
The incredible technology of modern animatronics was on full display in
The Hall of Presidents, where we saw every president of the United States from
Washington to Trump standing before us in life-like poses. We heard Abraham
Lincoln recite the Gettysburg Address, and John Kennedy give his famous “Ask
Not” speech. Several other presidents
spoke to the audience in lifelike presentations. At the end, our current president, Donald
Trump, spoke with amazing realism and eloquence about the American spirit and
tradition. Though it sounded and looked like The Donald, I knew immediately it
was fake… Donald Trump does not do eloquent speeches without a teleprompter.
The highlight of the afternoon was the Disney character parade down Main
Street, U.S.A. The we saw Mickey,
Minnie, Donald, Cinderella, et al in their radiant glory in fairy-tale boats
waving to us common creatures. It was
magical (swoon). The last ride of the day was “It’s a Small World,” a boat tour
around the globe.
Saturday, December 8. Moved out of our Grand beach Resort unit
this morning. Shirley and I abandoned
our scooters there for the scooter company to pick up, so we were reduced to
walking like normal folks. Fortunately,
the day’s schedule was less grueling so we managed. To the Fort Wilderness Lodge and their
Trail’s End Restaurant for breakfast.
Again, the menu was unlimited, and you could eat until you
couldn’t. Disney is not a place for
light eaters to visit. There we ran into
another waiter similar to the previous 29-year veteran at The Yachtsman
Restaurant, except this fellow had been at Disney for forty years. Apparently, Disney has very loyal employees. The restaurant is on the banks of Bay Lake, one of the large lakes on Disney
property. There are shuttle boats which
carry visitors around to the various resorts, so we decided to take a lake tour
and just make the round, coming back to the place where we boarded. It was a pleasant boat ride, the weather was
mild, and the ride was smooth.
Time to check into our new lodge, this time the Kidani Village section
of the Animal Kingdom Lodge. The lodge,
located on the edge of a wildlife sanctuary, is a very unique place…where else
can you sit on your deck and watch giraffes, warthogs, exotic birds,
wildebeests, various African species of deer and other unknown creatures wander
by? After the sun goes down and while
sitting in the darkness on the balcony, one can hear the sounds of the jungle
and imagine being on an exotic safari in some far-off place. Our dinner was at the Mara, a restaurant in the Animal Kingdom
Lodge. Sandwiches and the like…good
food, good atmosphere, good family, good times.
Sunday, December 9. It was a short stay at the Animal Kingdom
Lodge since we were flying back home this afternoon. We went to the Boma, a restaurant at the
Jambo House for breakfast. Afterward, we
decided to just chill in a lounge area there overlooking the wildlife preserve,
watching the exotica as they foraged for food in the preserve. Suddenly Shanna comes up and excitedly says,
“Mickey’s here!” Around Disney there’s
only one “Mickey,” so we all rushed out to a foyer area, and, sure enough,
there was Mickey Mouse…and Donald Duck!
How grown, seventy-five-year-old adults can get excited about seeing cartoon
characters in the flesh (sort of) is hard to fathom, but it was kind of
cool. They were hugging little kids and
being photographed, and we all got in line and had our family photo taken with
our childhood heroes. I’m not sure if it
was the high point of our trip, but it was memorable, anyway. After high fives and hugs (I even hugged the
rat…I mean mouse), we said our goodbyes and Mickey and Donald went on their
merry ways, leaving happiness and memories in their wakes.
We said our final goodbyes to the creatures of the wildlife preserve and
drove to the Contemporary Resort for a bit of last-minute shopping. Several of the family are into collecting
Disney pins, and there they shopped for pins and exchanged a few. Eventually, it was time to head for the
Orlando International Airport for our evening flight home. The flight home was crowded, but
uneventful. I’ve already described what
flying is like these days, so I won’t repeat the experience. We landed in Houston shortly after 10:00
p.m. A quick ride to our car, and a
short drive home.
This being my first trip, I mentioned in the beginning that I was a
little skeptical of visiting Disney, but now having seen the place first hand I
have a few observations:
·
Considering that Disney has thirty million visitors per year, I
was impressed with the cleanliness and neatness of the place. There is not a blade of grass out of place
and only very seldom do you see a speck of trash on the ground. Everything from restrooms to restaurants is
spotlessly clean.
·
The technology at Disney is incredible. With wristbands which allowed you to enter
the park, open your hotel door, add photos, make purchases, and access FastPass
selections, you wonder how the place operated before computers. Along with your smart phone, everything was
done instantly and easily. The rides, be it a trip to Mars or a runaway
rollercoaster down Mount Everest, or a hang glider flight over the African
savanna were so realistic you felt you were experiencing the real event.
·
We were at Disney during the height of the Christmas/Holiday
season, and I was very favorably impressed with the Christmas music that was
played or sung in every area of the park…it was actually Christian Christmas music
with the traditional carols we have sung for decades. There was no avoidance of the words
associated with the Christmas story in the New Testament. I mentioned earlier of the narrator at the
Candlelight Processional telling the Christmas story straight out of Matthew
and Luke. I expected Disney to be more
politically correct and innocuous in its holiday music choices. I was pleasantly surprised.
·
Disney’s primary market is middle-class to upper class white America. In eight days of wandering around Disney, I
would venture that 95% of the people I crossed paths with were white, with the
next most populous group Asian. I heard
many languages spoken, and it was clear that there were many international
visitors, but the dominate ethnicity was Caucasian.
·
Speaking of people, be prepared to work your way through hordes of
people whenever you are within the park (remember, 30,000,000 visitors per
year.) You NEVER get away from the
crowds, whether waiting in line, walking down a path, or eating at a
restaurant…it is crowded everywhere.
Shirley and I learned how to whip through the crowd riding our scooters,
but even then, we had those other crazy scooter drivers to watch out for.
·
Disney is not the tourist destination for the budget
conscious. EVERYTHING is horrendously
priced…from $15.00 milkshakes to a 24 ounce porterhouse steak ($132.50). I realize that I am probably showing my age
when I gripe about prices, but when I consider the price of daily Disney park
tickets and the prices for everything within the park, it seems strange that
they still charge you $25-$50 per day just to park your car so you can come
inside the park and spend the rest of your money. The high pricing also spills out to the
surrounding facilities outside the park.
If you decide to beat the system and stay at Motel 6, be prepared to pay
$100 per night for the room that Tom Boudette says rents for $49 anywhere else
in the country. But again, it may be a generational problem. I just haven’t
adjusted to current entertainment pricing.
In conclusion, I have this
recommendation: everyone needs to visit Walt Disney World at least once in
his/her lifetime. It is a totally unique
place: forty square miles of technologically advanced, highly entertaining,
ecologically responsible, Earth friendly, environmentally safe, family friendly, unforgettable experiences. I am glad
I was able to share the experience with my beloved family. When’s the next
trip, kids?
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