Fast forward to April, 2016, at my church, Bethel Tabernacle.
Anyone who was a relatively faithful attendee during that time will tell you that we heard several unusually powerful and moving
sermons from our pastor, our associate ministers, and even visiting ministers
about the healing power of God, and as each sermon was delivered, it seemed
that the message was directed to me…to the point that in one sermon the
minister referred to “a faithful member of the church who is suffering from
cancer.” I understood at the time that the
minister was probably referring to one of our established members who was known
to be suffering from the dreaded disease, but even with that, the statement
came close to me, primarily because I had not advertised my own health
situation very openly.
During two separate
services, when prayer for the health-challenged was offered, the ministers of
the church anointed me with oil and prayed as the scriptures suggested, and I
felt a tremendous touch of…whatever you want to call it…virtue, healing,
spirit, or God (all the same, anyway), and I, after the second prayer, felt
that my situation with leukemia had possibly, even probably, been abated. I felt such to the point that I looked
forward to my visit to MDA in June, 2016, because I fully expected
my doctor to look at my lab work and tests and be amazed at the unexplainable positive
changes that had occurred in my blood. I
was so confident that I told my wife that she did not need to travel with me to
MDA, because I was expecting a very positive outcome to my tests. She was scheduled to work that day, and
usually she canceled her work to go with me, but that morning I drove away from
our home in high spirits.
All my tests were
done by 10:30, so I dawdled and wandered around until my 1:00 appointment with
Doctor Ravandi, who has been my doctor since 2008. At precisely 1:00 p.m. I was ushered into the
patient’s room and as usual interviewed by his nurse, then his physician’s
assistant. The PA was looking at the
computer screen on the desk asking me questions about my medications, feelings, last
six months’ events, etc., and when he finished, he left, saying that Doctor
Ravandi would be available in a few minutes.
The computer was still running, however, and I, being the nosey soul
that I am, decided to take a look at my medical charts and the results of the
blood tests of three hours earlier. What
I saw (I’m learning to read those charts), left me cold.
It was abundantly
clear that my “dormant” CLL was on the move.
Without getting into technicalities, everything about my blood that was
supposed to be low was rapidly increasing, and everything that was supposed to
be high was dropping like a rock. I was
stunned and disbelieving, and under my breath whispered, “Oh, God, can this be
true?” I felt as if I had been promised
a valued prize and at the last minute had it snatched away. When Doctor Ravandi entered the room a little
later, I did not react much to what he had to say because I was already a
little numb. I have described in an
earlier essay the moment I was told I had cancer in 2008. This moment was not as traumatic as that, but
it was a shock, anyway. He told me what
I had already determined, but offered the analysis that the progression of the
disease had not reached the treatment stage.
By next April (my next appointment), however, he stated if the current
activity continued, we would begin some sort of procedure. Apparently the general consensus is that
until a certain level of progression in some diseases is reached, early treatment
can actually be counterproductive. It’s
sort of like when I had the blockage in my carotid artery in my neck cleared in November, 2014, the blockage had been there for at least eight years, but until the
blockage reached 70%, no surgery was planned.
Doesn’t make sense, but that’s the way it’s done.
I said my goodbyes
to my medical team and headed home. I
had a hard time concentrating on the traffic because I was so disappointed in
the news I had received. I had been so
confident…so full of faith…in the expectation of receiving a great report that
I had trouble grasping what had taken place.
If you’ve ever tried to pray and drive in heavy traffic at the same
time, it’s pretty challenging. Actually,
I suppose anytime one gets on the streets of Houston, praying while driving is
a necessary practice.
In a short while,
however…even before I arrived home…I began to feel a comforting spirit from God
descend around me, and I remembered some of the statements I have both said and
written during earlier trying times.
God’s time is not our time; sometimes healing comes, and sometimes it
does not. If we were all healed every
time we became ill, we would all live forever, but our forever will come in the
next life, not here on earth. I taught a
series of lessons a few years ago on “Seeking the Will of God,” and I learned
that the only stated will of God in the scriptures is that “none should perish,
but all have eternal life.” Everything
that He allows to happen to us is geared toward pushing us in the right
direction to insure our eternal salvation.
Healing occasionally comes, wealth may come, earthly security may come,
but those blessings are at best only supplemental to His divine plan for
us…that we be saved. It is our job to
accept His plan for each of us and follow his leading and inspiration. He promised, “I will be with you…even to the
end of the earth.”
As it turned out, my blood reports continued to deteriorate to the point that, in April, 2017, I began chemotherapy treatments. However, due to the advances in medicine in just the last couple of years, my chemo treatments consisted of a pill taken daily instead of injections or intravenous procedures. As a result, I was spared the long drives to MDA. By March of this year (2019) for the first time in five years, my blood counts were all in the acceptable ranges. God moves at His chosen pace, not ours.
As it turned out, my blood reports continued to deteriorate to the point that, in April, 2017, I began chemotherapy treatments. However, due to the advances in medicine in just the last couple of years, my chemo treatments consisted of a pill taken daily instead of injections or intravenous procedures. As a result, I was spared the long drives to MDA. By March of this year (2019) for the first time in five years, my blood counts were all in the acceptable ranges. God moves at His chosen pace, not ours.
So in those instances when God does not move with the speed or in the way we would like, there may initial disappointment, but just as
children eventually understand that their parents still love them in spite of
saying “no,” the disappointment will quickly fade and the love for Him will remain as strong as
ever. I understand that in His time, all
will end well. I will live each day
enjoying the blessing of having His spirit near me. Healing may come, but, if not, He is still my
provider, benefactor, and soon coming King.
Blessed be the Name of the Lord.
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